Tending the Silence

Having a non-communicative child presents a large assortment of difficulties.  I never knew how much I took language for granted until we had Liam. 
I think any parent can relate to when they first have their new baby home, and the first time the child gets ill, all you want to know is what hurts, and how you can make it better.

With a non-communicating child, this process seems never ending.  And with a child on the spectrum, it makes everyday events, like feeding or showers, all the more challenging.

But the anxiety I feel as a parent when my child gets sick seems to triple that of an neurotypical parent going through the same illness.  If Liam gets a sore throat, he can not tell me that it hurts.  Then he starts to refuse liquids.  I have had numerous doctors tell me to give him ice cream and popsicle, and when I try and explain to them that he doesn't eat them because of the texture, they seem confused.  The last time he was sick, the doctor kept us in the back room with a frozen pop to be certain.  We later ended up in the emergency room because he had a dry diaper for over 24 hours.

I still cringe when I remember the tears as I held him, trying to comfort him.  I explained to him everything that was happening.  The nurses seemed irritated that I had a screaming toddler in the ER and could not comfort him, until I explained he was Autistic.

As the weather changes, and even the smallest adjustments to the schedule can cause an 'off day', I keep a weary eye on my babe.  My partner argues that I'm becoming a bit paranoid.  I probably am... but he wasn't the one home tending fevers and forcing fluids.  I don't like being the 'bad guy' either.