Survey : What are the Negative aspects of an High functioning Autistic person

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Self pity, buying into the negative stereo types, being unhappy or feeling trapped in grief, low self esteem, boring, bored, lonely, anti social behavior and alienation, health issues, fear, dis orientation, dyslexia, hypo behavior, in appropriate mannerisms, melt downs, snap rages, lack of comprehension, different language or lack of it, hyper sensitivity, poor body image, no sense of body space, clumsiness ... lack of faith.... not knowing that its your life and you really can choose against all of the above, transform them into positives and find your own way through,.... oh this should have been on the Positive Aspects of being a High Functioning Autistic thread. ...hate christmas... but I live in hope that i can fix that.I just have to stop feeling frightened and humilated by it..

I raised my boy to believe he was special, I helped him not to buy into stereo types, he was always right not the system, I tried to make sure he learnt to function according to his intuition. incidentally its been tough for him but he experiences very little of the above I always saw it coming and mostly managed to cut it off at the pass I had already experience it, so he wouldn't have to. Good luck with your little boy

There is an awareness of being different, but you can't quite put your finger on what it is that makes you different. The pursuit of gaining the understanding can be like the hampster on the wheel - running round and round and round - but never going anyplace.

1. inability to regulate emotions - i am either extremely happy or extremely sad. Intensity of emotions that i feel are out of my control really agitate me

2. meltdowns - high anxiety and stress can lead to me to having a meltdown...they arent pretty.

3. people feel attracted to me however i lack the social skills to facilitate an ongoing friendship with someone and i most certainly lack the skills to have a meaningful relationship with a man

4. I have various sensory issues that drive me insane like sirens, the crunching of the dead grass under my feet out the back, someone touching me, the wind. Having the tv on and a radio on somewhere else in the house just about does my head in.

5. I really dont like change and i like my routines. If there is an unexpected change to my already planned out day i will have a freak out and i will abandon everything i had planned for that day.

6. I get sidetracked very easily so what should take me 30 minutes could take a lot longer

7. One of my hardest challenges is that both my daughter and I are autistic....my son is not. Being a single mum who is autistic herself raising another autistic person plus a NT little boy is just totally disheartening to me at times.. because i dont understand myself, i dont understand Izzy and i get frustrated and then Henry well i know at times he just cant relate to either one of us...

8. It can be a very lonely life sometimes

Nicole -
Great description. My experience is very, very similar. I wanted to post and explain - just didn't have the words.
~Quirky

Nicole;I agree,great post.Sometimes,I am not sure,if my oldest daughter is on the spectrum or not.I can`t relate to her at all.She is very into everything that is in style,and expensive clothes,and shoes.I don`t know.We just don`t relate to each other.Sparrow.I think my son had some of the issues with his body feeling disconnected,and not knowing what his needs are.Since he is non verbal,I think,maybe you have described what he is feeling,but since he can`t tell me,I don`t know for sure,and also,the low self esteem ,and wanting to share what you know,that others may not be interested in.Those are biggies for me.I wanted to post on this before,but,I`m not good with words,Sparrow,you blow me away,with your writing ability.I wish I had it.

Keep posting everyone because it is really helpful. Being able to describe experiences is difficult, and it's wonderful when someone else is able to do it! Very helpful!

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and i get mixed feeling about to be happy or not but certainly i believe that people on autistic spectrum are indeed special and i admire you with great sense of pride.

Sparrow ,
I really appreciate you for the pain and time taken to put together the well articulated and most comprehensive traits about autism .. Kudos to you ..i'm sure most of those looking for possive and negative aspects of HFA would benefit from this post.

Have a nice week end .. Bala

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1 anxiety and depression
2 problems with interpretation of semantic/pragmatic cues in talk-in-interaction
3 comprehension problems with metaphors, proverbs and sayings (illocutionary forces)
3 compulsive disorders
4 higher sensitivity to some smells and sounds
5 specific language impairments SLI (genetically inherited impairments)

Thank you Sparrow for your great description of the life of an AS person. I've lived for more than seventy years in confusion and misunderstanding between social ineptness and great intellectual curiosity. My usual interpretation was a failure to polish and succeed in my intellectual life. My mother said - we thought we were going to have a wonderfully gifted daughter, and you turn out a completely common person. Common indeed! She couldn't stand the uncommonness of me. What you describe is so much what my life has been. Even my children think me weird, but what you say, its so true. Usually I'm afraid to write because I do not want to be attacked - I read so many attacks - but I couldn't resist to say - thank you - you helped me a lot to understand my life.

HI, Bala,
I was just diagnosed 8 years ago with AS and my life up till then has been in nightmare when it came to holding jobs and making friends. I have a BA in English, a MA in Urban Education, and completed courses as an Educational Media Specialist. When I enrolled I was told my past experience qualified me and when I tried to get the certification, I didn't.

As for jobs, if I had "step C' to complete and had to depend on other people for "steps A & B".
They didn't get it done, I did it, and boom! "Who do you think you are doing my job?" Just ignore the fact the request was made over and over until I was reprimanded by the boss for not doing my job and my position wes "eliminated due to budget cuts." I finally started my own business, "Nannty-On-The-Spot: Emergency and Last Minute Childcare" and found a couple of families. The kids don't need me now and it was rough going for a while, particularly with one of the fathers, but it worked out for over 10 years. One of my mothers is a social worker with a private practice so I taught her about AS and she taught me how to correct my behavior.

Other problems:
1) Depression & Anxiety
2) Sleeplessness
3) OCD
4) NVD - Non-Verbal Disability: Unable to read "body language"
5) Logic problems - Jump "steps" to solve a problem, usually the most logical
6) Very keen hearing
7) Higher sensitivity to situations, i.e. jokes - I look at it from the other side, having been the target too many times to count - very hurtful
8) People tend to treat you as though you are "mentally challenged" and
make desicions you are capable of making yourself.
9) People panic when they hear the word "auticism", not really understanding what it means and 9 times out of 10 don't want to, hanging onto the stereotypical picture.

However, I want to end on a positive note: AS has made me much more aware of the world around me and even more open to people with the handicaps that other people are frightened of. My childhood was spent with friends who had handicaps and therefore nobody wanted to be friends with, the scapegoats, like me. Now I have an even better understanding of myself and them. Getting the diagnosis of AS lifted a great burden off my shoulders - when friendships and jobs didn't last, I always assumed it was my fault. Now I know there's a reason and though problems are still there, I know how to solve them with the help of family and close friends who I consider family.

I hope this helps.
Have a great week.

Rasma;I think my grandfather was AS.Lived to be 97.Stubborn,and was kind of considered to be the blacksheep of the family.Sometimes,I think AS parents,and their children ,often do not get along,becauise they don`t understand each other.One of your parents was probably on the spectrum,or a grandparent,as it seems to run in families.Back then,there was no diagnosis,and know one understood.Hopefully things will be different for AS families,with understanding,of why people act the way they do.

Bala,
Thank you for requesting this information. It is so affirming for those of us who are just coming to the realizion that we are indeed on the spectrum.
To all who have responded - thank you, thank you, thank you!
~Quirky

I don't think all the negative aspects of HFA are from autism itself. Just like with any group of people there are good and bad but some seem to need to blame autism for more than just the failings caused by autism.

I have seen people who use autism as an excuse for bad manners, often using the excuse in the same sentence as a hurtful comment is made. That clearly indicates that the individual was aware that their comment would upset others but chose to make it anyway and then use autism as an excuse for their indiscretion. This is particularly noticeable with written comments where there is every opportunity to read and sense check a comment before it's posted. How can a person claim that they don't know a comment they made was hurtful if they knew enough to make an excuse for it at the same time?

I also find that there are people who believe that they can can gain some importance by shouting about their autism and pretending it gives them some reason to think they are better than others. That attitude undermines those who are working hard to make people aware of autism and to gain acceptance for the condition in the NT world we live in. How can we ever hope to be accepted as a valuable part of society when there are people who are busy making themselves and the autistic community look arrogant and self important?

How can an autistic person ever hope to get a job and be a productive part of society if the impression that some autistic people are giving to society is that autism is an excuse for a foul temper or hurtful comments or an arrogant manner?

I know that few people here are like that, but all it really takes is a few to give society a bad impression of what an autistic person is like. I wonder if those people are aware of the damage they cause?