Survey : What are the Negative aspects of an High functioning Autistic person

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Playing the blame game.A lot of aspies want to blame some one for all their problemsMyself included.I blamed my parents that raised me.My daughter blames me,and I suspect,her kids will blame her when they grow up.Not true of everyone.

I think the blame game extends across all human conditions.

I also feel Sparrow is very correct in what she said in that some our traits have originated from other places besides our autism. Life is a myriad of experiences which all shape us into the human beings that we are.

Autism is only a part of it..in saying that however i do beieve there are some aspects of ourselves that exist because neurologically and genetically they do exist and we didnt purposely put them there...some have said we have a choice and I do feel this to be true...if we can recognise those aspects of ourselves that we wish to change or improve and be proactive about it then we can bring about change within ourselves

Unfortunately it is true however that children in general are at a much higher risk of not recognising unsafe situations and some adults do take advantage of this. In the situation of an autistic child i feel that risk is even higher. Which is why as parents and as members of a community we must protect these children even more.

Perhaps one of the disadvantages some of us had as an autistic child particularly as an undiagnosed child of autism we lacked protection within our lives...but in saying that times were a little different then...there was an element of secrecy..in some situations abuse was a part of 'growing up'.

Sorry if i am confusing anyone...i almost feel a little confused myself..i think i'm just trying to say that yes there are negative aspects of my own autism that i dont like but i agree with all of you i think in that we are shaped by our genetics, our upbringing, our environment, the people around us - family and friends. There is an interconnectiveness that exists

Justin, you are so right - my father was a smart man with great dignity, but he had no friends, and created for himself a rigid way of behavior. I always thought it was because he was a real Victorian character (he was born in 1889), but now I wonder. The rigidity extended to him omitting great chunks of writing from novels of Tolstoy and others, claiming that - it was too unbelievable. Does anyone think that maybe life was easier in the 19th century for AS people because there were more rules? And one could always find something to do among country people?
I was lucky to fall into a job just right for me, but for years it was a struggle. And I did have years of therapy to help me overcome deep depression, and started exploring the idea of AS only this year. Things fit remarkably.
Interestingly - I could never understand why I often acted so naively. And exaggerated my response to someone telling an exciting tale. I'd laugh too loudly and make faces, and people would accuse me of making fun of them. I thought I was just reacting like everybody else. I'd try and try to be friends because I was told I was too shy and then "has the cat's got your tongue", so I spoke and spoke, louder and louder, and again they turned away.
Thank heavens, at least I understand now, never did before.

Gavia there is much truth in what you say, but I think that truth needs to be tempered with compassion. Decades before I was diagnosed, people found me rude - and sometimes I found out about it. I had no intention to be rude, but I had very little self-awareness either. Nowadays, at the age of 62, I try to be warm and charming with everyone, but I still get hostile reactions from neurotypicals who get outraged because I don't use the precise verbal formulae that represent the only way they can interact with people, and they also get outraged when I don't understand what they are getting at, and I ask them to explain. When they get on their high horses like that, then I consider them legitimate military targets, and sometimes unleash a bit of acerbic logic at them, which often freaks them out. But look, that's their problem: if they can't respond in an open and civil fashion to an open and honest approach which was initially put politely, then I don't give a stuff what the fascistic idiots feel. Avanice day, y'all! - Jason

I agree jason, people can choose against you what you say or do and how you say or do it but at the end of the day if there was no harm to them and no harm intended and they take it personally and put a whole lot of energy into it, it becomes their problem. .I personally choose not to experience rejection. People can choose against me but they can't reject me because that is not what i want to experience. Very often when people attack its about power, pack mentality and because they think they can ,Hopefully as human beings we can evolve beyond that. Most of us live and learn and move on wiser and better people because of our inter active experiences with others.
Jahki.

[Updated on 12/14/2009 7:48 PM]

Jason,

I find that there is a distinct difference between those of us who have no intention to be rude who get a reaction that was unexpected and unwarranted from the NT world, and those who use autism as an excuse to be be intentionally rude when they know it's inappropriate. The difference is in the attitude and intent behind the action, the former is intended to be normal honest social interaction that is unfortunately misinterpreted, the latter is intended to be knowingly malicious with autism used as an excuse to try to avoid responsibility for that intention.

If I've tried to engage in social interaction in a appropriate way and it's still taken badly, I'll point out my intentions, sometimes in no uncertain terms. I think we all do that in an effort to understand and be understood. That is not being deliberately and intentionally rude with no regard for the other party and then placing the blame on 'having an autistic moment' to try to avoid the consequences.

We may not be able to control how someone interprets our actions but we are responsible for our attitude and the intent behind our actions, and we are subject to the consequences or our actions regardless of our intent.

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Sparrow
You appear to be a very clear and accurate communicator with a lot of integrity and clear values in what you write and I'm sure that must be true of your verbal interaction as well, I wonder why you would want to tamper with that ; because it might lose some thing in translation if you socialize it.? Any way social interaction has to take into account other factors like body language which, if you are different ,is a dead give away, so some ones likely to go after you any way esp[ecially if you show any discomfort at all.

I think its better to stay accurate to your self , I don't do small talk because its dead boring and I know I'll zone out in two seconds so I just try to find some thing interesting about the person or the group by asking questions until I hit on some thing worth listening to. Apart ,from that.self confidence is really important. because people know if your not. confident and most people love laughing or being entertained so humor is good or if you can make them laugh or get them to make you laugh that works..

I read a book a few years ago on English social interaction called 'Watching the English' by Kate Fox, it's a serious work of social observation but written in a humerous inoffensive way. I'm sure that someone in America must have written something similar at some point.

I found it explained a lot of the social cues used in England that I miss through a combination of AS and cultural differences from having spent most of my life in America. It also offers an explanation of some of the unspoken social rules that everyone should know from simply being a part of the English culture. Not exactly written with AS in mind, but in my opinion it's a worthy resource.

Great posts!! - Thanks!! The negative aspects are so enduring, and cumulative; seems the bullying never stops, at school, workplace, even as an -ignored- customer in retail stores!! (As already noted here, it does seem to be a form of traumatic/chronic stress, the effects of which are difficult to fully determine). It's no fun to be highly aware of your isolation, and relative confusion on relationships, and to have difficulty connecting when you have struggled to speak directly and plainly, only to be usually dismissed as a problem. All for now -

The irony is,many of the ones dismissing you,want support for their own autistic children.

This is autism.We that have lived with it for decades,know the real deal.

Have to say its a pretty uplifting experience...that probably should have gone on the unattended 'positive of autism' thread. Seems to me the people who see only the worst of autism, have the most judgement against it and can see no possibilities within it are the people who experience it themselves or through the people they care for. That doesn't bode well for the next generation of autistic people, what a battle they have ahead of them. i get that this is a support forum and its function is for people to bring their problems here but doesn't any one have any thing good to say about themselves and their lives, how disturbing... and thats not judgement , its amazement .
Jahki,