So I just started dating this guy 4months ago. I asked if he had aspergers and he said he doesn’t know what that is. I work with adults with autism. Im almost positive that he is. Im in love with him and it doesn’t matter to me. Anyway when people meet him they say that he’s quirky.
Aspergers-
Loves science and math
Quirky
Doesn’t eat noodles at all (doesn’t Iike)
Wants to get married already
Says “I shouldn’t tell you this bad thing but...”
Always spilling the beans (he won’t understand this)
Says things over and over
Doesn’t sleep (always had hard time)
Likes things a certain way. Very particular. Moves things around. Doesn’t like me to touch them.
Says thank you for coming over EVERY single time I leave
Still holds fork weird!!!
Not Aspergers-
Looks me in my eyes
Very huggy and kisses all the time
Seems to care about my feelings- like he asks why I had a bad day
He likes going out with friends. Even a few times a week.
Very awkwardly social
It was a literal question. I think, maybe, because they have usually have different things that motivate them, it makes us different from them. Or maybe how they get things done? Emotional or empathic…
I have ASD and I can look you in the eyes.
Why do you leave beans out to be spilled? LOL I do know it is a figure of speech but not a good idea to use one here. He hugs and kisses but doesn't like to be touched? CuriousI care about the feelings of other people even though I did tease you about beans.
I noticed that people who are needy often wish to mary immediately. So go slow.
Are you sure you are not ASD yourself? Women with ASD are way more common that one would think AND can look neurotypical.
Tony Attwood says we do better with another ASD person or someone extremely NT. We often attract each other.
Once you guys get used to each other you will know better if you work well together or not. Time is important in relationships with anyone. We are all human and humans are complex so try not to rush things and lif he is insecure that will get better with time.
Nora G
Extremely NT people? Weird. I just flat out don't get along with NT's. Not bias on my part though, I'm friendly towards NT's I meet, it just doesn't make any difference.
Are NT's soulless?
I don't know your intention behind the question (is it sarcasm?). I normally feel most non-Bipolar people appear soulless, I guess because NT's (and even some on the spectrum) are not on a similar emotional wavelength. I just don't get or understand why people don't embrace and find joy in the little things like children (and cats) do, it's like turning into an adult has twisted the person they used to (and were supposed) to be. That being said, Bipolar or Autistic or not, NT's just can't seem to gel with the wavelength autistic people are on. I think sometimes this is "bad"/ill-intentioned, and sometimes it's not.
As a a side-note, I wasn't always empathic, and I feel that the person I was at ages 12-29 was at least a tad soulless. I was very emotional but I wasn't empathic, didn't care much about others at all, and had little interest in most people. I can totally understand why autistic people would be the same way I used to be, especially if in the age range I mentioned.
It was a literal question. I think, maybe, because they have usually have different things that motivate them, it makes us different from them. Or maybe how they get things done? Emotional or empathic or not, whether or not a person is autistic or neurotypical it doesn't make them empathic individuals.