Just had our 21 year old Autistic Nephew move in with us

Hi, I don't really know where to start. I am looking for some advice, tips, guidance... My husband and I just had our 21 year old Autistic Nephew move in with us. He is high functioning autistic, ADHD, with Reactive Attachment Disorder. He was living in a group home several states away and we just couldn't leave him there. My only concern is all he does 24 hours a day is sleep and play video games. Even when we get him to come out of his room, he has his cellphone with him with the remote version of ps4 on it and never stops talking to all these people on the game. I want what's best for him and don't know what is good or bad for him. He had a job at a grocery store for about 2 years before. I have to constantly remind him to take a shower, brush his teeth, take his medicine, pick up items on the floor, and eat. I don't know if I am underestimating his abilities or overestimating his abilities. Any advice or explanation would be greatly appreciated as I don't want to do the wrong thing and am ALL NEW to this.

Parents
  • Does he ever have times he's open to talking?  It can be hard to find that space where you could have an actual conversation about it. 

    You might get fast food and take it to the park or some open area ( covid- 19 ) safe. Just tell him you want to talk about what rules or structures the family needs to stay safe and sane. 

    He may be overdoing the games because there is no structure.  Games provide structure. You already have your own structures and if he can see them it will help him. 

    List the things he needs to do and give it to him and discuss exactly when it will be done.  Write it all down and post it in his room, the bathroom and maybe a notice board if you have one. If you don't get one.

     Make sure he knows you are also following these rules.  " we all take showers daily and brush our teeth. We all pick up after ourselves"write it down.  

    Nora who has been more or less on both sides of this equation 

Reply
  • Does he ever have times he's open to talking?  It can be hard to find that space where you could have an actual conversation about it. 

    You might get fast food and take it to the park or some open area ( covid- 19 ) safe. Just tell him you want to talk about what rules or structures the family needs to stay safe and sane. 

    He may be overdoing the games because there is no structure.  Games provide structure. You already have your own structures and if he can see them it will help him. 

    List the things he needs to do and give it to him and discuss exactly when it will be done.  Write it all down and post it in his room, the bathroom and maybe a notice board if you have one. If you don't get one.

     Make sure he knows you are also following these rules.  " we all take showers daily and brush our teeth. We all pick up after ourselves"write it down.  

    Nora who has been more or less on both sides of this equation 

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