Just had our 21 year old Autistic Nephew move in with us

Hi, I don't really know where to start. I am looking for some advice, tips, guidance... My husband and I just had our 21 year old Autistic Nephew move in with us. He is high functioning autistic, ADHD, with Reactive Attachment Disorder. He was living in a group home several states away and we just couldn't leave him there. My only concern is all he does 24 hours a day is sleep and play video games. Even when we get him to come out of his room, he has his cellphone with him with the remote version of ps4 on it and never stops talking to all these people on the game. I want what's best for him and don't know what is good or bad for him. He had a job at a grocery store for about 2 years before. I have to constantly remind him to take a shower, brush his teeth, take his medicine, pick up items on the floor, and eat. I don't know if I am underestimating his abilities or overestimating his abilities. Any advice or explanation would be greatly appreciated as I don't want to do the wrong thing and am ALL NEW to this.

Parents
  • I am having the same problems with my special needs son this summer, so I can relate.  I'm also high functioning autistic 49 year old.

    My first recommendation is to get a schedule into the calendar on his phone.  It should contain all daily tasks he has to do and when to do them.  This is what he is missing, and why he has retreated into defense mode.

    2nd- good that he has friends to go to in defense mode.  You should learn to play his games and join him and his friends online when possible.

    Sadly, during this virus is no time to work on job skills, for anybody.  40 million Americans are out of work, you're not going to find anybody willing to hire low skilled positions at this time who aren't already fully staffed.    But- it might be good to look into screen timers to help him remember to follow his schedule- use one where you can grant more Ps/4 time when he completes his tasks.

    And one of those tasks in his daily routine should be time with you and his father.

Reply
  • I am having the same problems with my special needs son this summer, so I can relate.  I'm also high functioning autistic 49 year old.

    My first recommendation is to get a schedule into the calendar on his phone.  It should contain all daily tasks he has to do and when to do them.  This is what he is missing, and why he has retreated into defense mode.

    2nd- good that he has friends to go to in defense mode.  You should learn to play his games and join him and his friends online when possible.

    Sadly, during this virus is no time to work on job skills, for anybody.  40 million Americans are out of work, you're not going to find anybody willing to hire low skilled positions at this time who aren't already fully staffed.    But- it might be good to look into screen timers to help him remember to follow his schedule- use one where you can grant more Ps/4 time when he completes his tasks.

    And one of those tasks in his daily routine should be time with you and his father.

Children